Monday, November 4, 2013

Happy

“The only way to find happiness is to understand that happiness is not out there.  It’s in here.”

Marshall Goldsmith

I’ve Been Thinking . . . about happiness. 

I’ve also been asking myself some pointed questions about my own happiness like; Are you happy with who, what and where you are today?  Are you having fun?  Are you enjoying your relationships?  Are you optimistic about your future?  Are you living life to the fullest?

If the answer is yes, why?  Probably the choices I’m making. 

If the answer is no, why not?  Probably the choices I’m making.

For most people, there is a tendency to search for something or sometime or someone to empower our pursuit of happiness. ‘When . . . then’ is their happiness formula.  Unfortunately, going through life waiting for the ‘when . . .  then’ moment to occur causes us to miss the wonderful adventure available to us today.

Remember the comedy film Cool Runnings?  It is about the first Jamaican bobsled team to go to the Olympics.  John Candy plays a former American gold medalist who is chosen to coach the Jamaican team.  The players grow to like their American leader and affectionately dub him “Sled-god.”

As the movie progresses, the coach’s dark past surfaces and begins to haunt him.  In an Olympics following his gold medal performance, he broke the rules by weighting the U.S. sled, bringing disgrace on himself and his team.

One of the Jamaican bobsledders was perplexed why anyone who had already won a gold medal would cheat.  He nervously approached the coach and asked him to explain.

“I had to win,” the coach said.  “I learned something.  If you are not happy without a gold medal, you won’t be happy with it.”

If you are not happy without the ‘sometime,’ ‘someone,’ or ‘something,’ you won’t be happy with it.  Happiness is an internal tug of war that can be won or lost at your choosing.  Unhappiness comes without an investment but you won’t like the interest it pays.  It takes energy, commitment and solid choices to be happy.  The dividends are well worth the investment.

In my happy moments, these three “A” principles are solidly at work:

  1. Attitude of Gratitude.  My happiness is not determined by what’s happening to me but rather what is happening in me.  When I am grateful for every moment of everyday my happiness quotient is pretty healthy.  I challenge you to find just one happy, ungrateful person – impossible.  Be an optimist.  Regardless of your circumstances, choose to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

  1. Align your Purpose and Passions.  When your daily activities are a reflection of your life’s purpose and the activities you are passionate about, happiness naturally surfaces.  Look around you.  Happy people are investing their lives in a purpose that really matters to them.  Unhappy people are often ‘wandering generalities.’  Happiness is a consequence for pursuing something meaningful.

  1. Activate Happiness Activators.  What?  That’s right, do the things that bring about happiness.  Smile.  Laugh.  Do something to make someone else happy.  Believe in God.  Build a close relationship.  Let go of the ‘poor me’ mentality. Speak happy.  It’s all about activating the simple “as-if” principle.  If you want to be happier, act as-if you’re happy and soon the behavior creates the emotion.

Don’t wait for happiness to find you.  Happiness is largely a choice.  If you want it, work at it.

“To be happy is easy enough if we give ourselves, forgive others, and live with thanksgiving.  No self-centered person, no ungrateful soul can ever be happy.  Life is giving, not getting.

Joseph Fort Newton

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