Monday, January 30, 2012

Find Your One Thing

“I am appalled at the aimlessness of most people’s lives. Fifty percent don’t pay attention to where they are going; forty percent are undecided and will go in any direction. Only ten percent know what they want, and even all of them don’t go toward it.”

Katherine Anne Porter
Pulitzer Prize Winner


I’ve Been Thinking. . . about movies and direction in life. Stay with me on this one.

The first movie is a scary one. What if? What if I could watch a movie today that will be played for me when I reach my eternal destination and it is entitled: The Life, Adventures and Accomplishments of Glenn Van Ekeren --- As They Could Have Been. I have a feeling this could be a horror movie with a bad ending.

If only I had understood early on that every choice I made contributed to the overall quality of my life. If only I had understood that there was a purpose in every action. If only I had realized that there was meaning in everything I attempted and achieved. If only. . . If only. . .

Enough of that scene. It’s depressing. Let’s leave my life and explore a couple commercial movies with a message. If you’ve seen the movie City Slickers, you probably recall a memorable scene involving Billy Crystal, who played a city slicker enduring a dude ranch vacation, and Jack Palance, who played a crusty old trail boss.

Here’s the scenario. Palance and Crystal are riding slowly across the terrain on horseback, discussing life and love. Crystal is amazed at Palance’s apparent ability to enjoy his seemingly questionable, less than exciting life and have his act together while Crystal is struggling to find direction and meaning. Here’s their conversation:

Palance: “How old are you? Thirty-eight?”Crystal: “Thirty-nine.”

Palance: “Yeah. You all come out here about the same age. Same problems. Spend fifty weeks a year getting knots in your rope -- then you think two weeks up here will untie them for you. None of you get it. [Long pause] Do you know what the secret of life is?”

Crystal: “No, what?”

Palance: “It’s this.” [Holds up his index finger]

Crystal: “Your finger?”

Palance: "One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and everything else don’t mean nothing.”

Crystal: “That’s great, but what’s the one thing?”

Palance: “That’s what you’ve got to figure out.”

The weather-beaten, crusty old cattle driver nailed it. He wasn’t verbally elegant but he was profound and well-seasoned on life’s necessities. That one thing is what you’ve got to figure out.

Don’t make this too philosophical. Simply, what is your reason for living? What is your ultimate aim? Why are you here? What is that “one thing” you want to be the driving force for everything you do? If you’ve never thought about such questions before, you will find the process stimulating and enlightening.

Someday, your movie will be played back to you as well. These are the very questions that might come back for you to answer. Have you found that “one thing?” Have you figured it out? Are your actions consistent with achieving your “one thing?”

Movie number three. Recently my wife and I decided to attend a movie we previously determined to forego. A combination of newspaper reviews and a heart tug led us to the theater Saturday evening.

A 9-year old boy, the central character of the movie, lost his father in the World Trade Center attacks on 9/11. I wanted to avoid reliving the potential sadness, emotions and reality of loss related to this horrific tragedy. Instead, director Stephen Daldry filled Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close with hope, honor and intense purpose.

Nine-year-old Oskar Schell is attempting to cope with the aftermath of his father’s death by pursuing the purpose of a mystery key. He believes the key will lead him to a message from his father and thereby keep him connected to the man he fervently admired. His borderline Asperger’s syndrome fuels his obsession to do whatever it takes to solve the mystery key.

Oskar’s quest ultimately reveals that the purpose of the key actually has an enormous message for someone else’s life. Facing his strongest fears, engaging others in his search and pursuing answers with unquenchable determination leads Oskar to the realization that the answers weren’t as important as the journey.

Isn’t that just the case of our lives? Purpose in hand, it’s the journey that really matters. But, it’s the purpose that directs the journey. They’re Siamese twins. Purpose and journey.

Find your one thing. Understand that the journey is worthwhile because of the one thing and someday your movie will receive a standing ovation.

“How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and, keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to know what really matters most.”

Stephen Covey

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Responsibility 101

People waste more time waiting for someone to take charge of their lives than they do in any other pursuit.

Gloria Steinem


I’ve Been Thinking. . . about the relevance of a very old movie. Grab your TV Guide. Oh, that’s right, they quit making TV Guide. Okay, go to your local cable listing and hope you can find the next showing of Remarque’s All Quiet on the Western Front.

There’s a scene where an angry German soldier in a hospital ward smashes a bottle against the wall. An officer quickly comes storming into the room demanding to know who threw the bottle. “I did,” said Joseph Hamacher, even though he had nothing to do with the incident.

The angry officer takes down Hamacher’s name, informs him he’s in big trouble and then stamps out of the room. The other soldiers are curious. Why did Hamacher take the heat when he didn’t commit the crime? Hamacher grins and explains, “I got a crack in the head, and they presented me with a certificate to say that I was periodically not responsible for my actions. Ever since then I’ve had a grand time!”

Sound familiar? There are a lot of people walking around today declaring themselves temporarily not responsible for their actions.

Relinquish responsibility to someone else or an event and you become powerless as well as angry and resentful. Grant someone or something responsibility for the quality of your day and be assured the results will be undesirable. You’ll soon believe that you have no control over what happens to you. This is the fast track to becoming a helpless victim of the past, other people and life. Trapped.

When you consciously take responsibility for the outcomes in your life new possibilities and alternatives will surface. Responsible people see no reason to blame others or the world around them for how they feel, think, or act. Their approach is to face the facts, meet challenges, decide how to make changes, and actively plan how they will make a difference in their future.

Two questions will assist you in making this transition. What do I want? What am I willing to do to make it happen?

You possess all the necessary tools to determine what activities and thoughts to activate. Being clear about what you want and how you will achieve it provides fresh insight into desirable behaviors.

“Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility,” says Michael Korda. “In the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have...is the ability to take on responsibility.”

Formulate a course of action to focus on who you want to be and how you want to feel.

“If you’re tough on yourself, life is going to be infinitely easier on you.”

Zig Ziglar