Let us spend one day as deliberately as nature, and not be thrown off the track by every nutshell and mosquito’s wing that falls on the rails.
Henry David Thoreau
I’ve Been Thinking . . . about fundamentals.
I became interested in golf after graduating from college and marrying into a golf-playing family. Regrettably, I taught myself, and I might add, not very well. As my interest in the game grew, so did my performance expectations. Unfortunately, without learning the proper fundamentals, I found myself discovering undesirable locations on the golf course.
After a few years of playing the game, the acquisition of several bad habits, erratic inconsistency, and inflated scores, I sought the help of a professional. For the next year I had to unlearn everything I had taught myself. I was tempted more than once to return to my old swing. I was working so hard at the game but the improvements seemed minimal. Something wasn’t right.
Back to a professional I went. “I see some really good things in your swing,” he began. I knew I was going to love this guy. What an encourager. “But,” his voice registered with me again, “you have a few fundamental flaws.” I knew it. Thinking a few minor adjustments would perfect my swing was just too good to be true.
“Unless you have the right grip, set-up, and proper alignment it doesn’t matter how well you swing. These three golf fundamentals make it possible for your mind and body to hit the ball correctly.” I worked laboriously and am still working on those three fundamentals. His lesson stuck with me. Without the proper approach to the swing, I would continue to be frustrated with the results.
People unhappy with their present jobs, relationships, health, or status in life are unlikely to change their perceptions when their situation improves. They have conditioned themselves to focus on what they lack, life's unfairness, and their overwhelming circumstances. Their alignment is such that they consistently set themselves up for poor shots at life.
Every time I approach a golf ball, I think about grip, set-up and alignment -- getting myself focused. Life’s no different. Every event we encounter requires us to re-evaluate our focus. What are we looking for? Once focused, my behavior can become more consistently grooved to achieve desired outcomes.
At the end of his initial consultation with a client, the famous psychoanalyst Alfred Adler would ask this perceptive question: "What would you do if you were cured?" The patient would give an answer. Adler would listen carefully, contemplate the response, then get up, open the door, and reply, "Well, then, go and do it!"
The questions you ask amidst the circumstances of life will determine whether you remain under the control of circumstances or rise above them. When the undesirable (and even desirable) occurs, ask yourself:
"How can I use this situation to grow?"
"What action can I take?"
"How can I change my current situation to produce positive results?"
"What positive reactions do I choose?"
And then, as Alfred Adler would say, “go do it.”
A positive, expectant focus brings with it enthusiasm, hope, initiative, self-discipline, and new opportunities. In its absence, fear, worry, doubt, and irritability will prevail. Think about all of the positive possibilities and a "can-do" spirit will be activated.
Change habitual "Why me?" questions into empowering questions that promote action toward desirable outcomes. This change in focus will create the feelings and actions necessary for identifying the resources that will keep any situation from overwhelming you.
Whatever you focus on endures and expands. If you desire more crisis and negativity, focus on every intricate detail of unfairness. Dwelling on the negative will weaken you, while applying your emotional and physical energy toward solutions will identify what you're capable of achieving.
Focus on solutions, alternatives and opportunities.
“The turning point in your life comes when you begin to believe that you have within you that divine spark that can lead you to achieve anything that you want in life.”
Brian Tracy
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
A Winning Legend
“Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.” - John Wooden
I’ve Been Thinking. . . about a winning legend who impacted countless lives.
Here’s a trivia question. What basketball coach won 10 March Madness national championships in 12 years; 7 national championships in a row; 23 Pacific-10 championships; an 88 game winning streak; 4 perfect 30-0 seasons; a 38-game winning streak in national championship tournament play; 12 Final Four appearances in 14 years?
The answer is the Wizard of Westwood – Coach John Wooden.
John Wooden was born in Indiana in 1910. Wooden was a good student and outstanding athlete, leading his high school basketball team to a state championship in 1927. He continued his athletic and academic success at Purdue University. It’s no surprise that he was named three times to the All-American team and in his senior year, led the Boilermakers to a national championship.
Wooden earned a masters degree at Indiana State Teachers College and then became a high school basketball coach in Kentucky and Indiana. His coaching career was interrupted by a stint in the military after the bombing of Pearl Harbor.
His college coaching career began at Indiana State Teachers College where his teams achieved a 47 and 14 won-lost record. National recognition soon followed and he was eventually offered a position with the University of California—Los Angeles at its Westwood campus. This is where he began writing basketball history and where John Wooden became a coaching legend.
Coach Wooden died recently at the age of 99. With all due respect to every great basketball coach, in my heart Coach Wooden was the greatest coach in history. I grew up loving the game of basketball and Coach Wooden represented everything that was great about the game.
He was a fabulous leader, master team builder and maximizer of people potential. His winning record as a coach may never be matched and yet he never preached or talked about the need to win.
You would learn from coach Wooden’s website, PBS presentation and every book written about him that his number one priority was making the complete effort to do the best you are capable of doing. Coach Wooden believed each person’s effort to realize their potential counted first and foremost.
His standard appeals to me. Think how many games would be won, projects completed, books written, relationships built and achievements realized if people fervently pursued their best in every endeavor. There is no doubt Coach Wooden wanted to win but he never allowed the end result to be the ultimate measure. It was all about what his players became as a result of the experience.
This may all sound rather idealistic or it could appear to be a simple life endeavor. But think about it - Be the best you can be in every situation.
Mr. Wooden’s father frequently reminded him: “Never try to be better than somebody else, but never cease trying to be the best you can be. You have control over that. Not the other.” What a wonderful life lesson.
Wooden heeded his father’s advice and considered this a fundamental quality of success. His clear and practical life wisdom established personal characteristics and behavior standards that inspired people to go beyond who and what they were. Here are some of my favorite pieces of wisdom I’ve accumulated over several years of following John Wooden’s career:
1. How to behave when things don’t go your way – “Don’t whine. Don’t complain. Don’t make excuses.”
2. A person’s character was paramount to Coach Wooden. He frequently reminded his players: “What you are as a person is far more important that what you are as a basketball player.” He added: “Talent may get you to the top, but it takes character to stay there.” And ultimately; “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
3. Be enthusiastic about your work. “Without enthusiasm, you cannot work up to your fullest ability and potential; you’re just going through the motions.” Going through the motions certainly won’t bring about too many winning experiences.
4. How about failure? “If you are afraid to fail, you will never do the things you are capable of doing. If you have thoroughly prepared and are ready to give it all you’ve got, there is no shame if you fail – nothing to fear in failure.”
5. “Perfection is impossible, but we must constantly strive for less imperfection.” He also had this to say about perfection: “Perfection is impossible. Capitalizing on imperfection – mistakes – makes all the difference.”
6. How about teamwork? “Do nothing that will bring discredit to the team.” That is powerful.
7. Personal behavior. Coach Wooden wrote a preseason letter to his team each year. Here is an excerpt from his 1966 letter. “Accept the fact that neatness, cleanliness, politeness, and good manners are qualities that you should acquire and cultivate just as much as the ability to properly execute the fundamental of the game of basketball.”
8. Approach to life. “The past is for reference; the future for dreamers; the present moment is where you create success.” I love that quote. Wooden was an adamant believer that we can influence the future by what we do today and that the past cannot change what is to come. Powerful stuff!
9. Coach had strong feelings about how we should treat other people. Here’s a gem: “Consider the rights of others before your own feelings, and the feelings of others before your own rights.”
10. Here’s what it was all about for Mr. Wooden. “Material possessions, winning scores, and great reputations are meaningless in the eyes of the Lord, because He knows what we really are and that is all that matters.” Amen!
“Be yourself – no posing or pretense; be comfortable in your own skin; avoid judging yourself in comparison to others; and hold fast to your principles and ideals.” - John Wooden
Sources: The Essential Wooden; http://www.coachwooden.com/; Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections; and Wooden on Leadership.
I’ve Been Thinking. . . about a winning legend who impacted countless lives.
Here’s a trivia question. What basketball coach won 10 March Madness national championships in 12 years; 7 national championships in a row; 23 Pacific-10 championships; an 88 game winning streak; 4 perfect 30-0 seasons; a 38-game winning streak in national championship tournament play; 12 Final Four appearances in 14 years?
The answer is the Wizard of Westwood – Coach John Wooden.
John Wooden was born in Indiana in 1910. Wooden was a good student and outstanding athlete, leading his high school basketball team to a state championship in 1927. He continued his athletic and academic success at Purdue University. It’s no surprise that he was named three times to the All-American team and in his senior year, led the Boilermakers to a national championship.
Wooden earned a masters degree at Indiana State Teachers College and then became a high school basketball coach in Kentucky and Indiana. His coaching career was interrupted by a stint in the military after the bombing of Pearl Harbor.
His college coaching career began at Indiana State Teachers College where his teams achieved a 47 and 14 won-lost record. National recognition soon followed and he was eventually offered a position with the University of California—Los Angeles at its Westwood campus. This is where he began writing basketball history and where John Wooden became a coaching legend.
Coach Wooden died recently at the age of 99. With all due respect to every great basketball coach, in my heart Coach Wooden was the greatest coach in history. I grew up loving the game of basketball and Coach Wooden represented everything that was great about the game.
He was a fabulous leader, master team builder and maximizer of people potential. His winning record as a coach may never be matched and yet he never preached or talked about the need to win.
You would learn from coach Wooden’s website, PBS presentation and every book written about him that his number one priority was making the complete effort to do the best you are capable of doing. Coach Wooden believed each person’s effort to realize their potential counted first and foremost.
His standard appeals to me. Think how many games would be won, projects completed, books written, relationships built and achievements realized if people fervently pursued their best in every endeavor. There is no doubt Coach Wooden wanted to win but he never allowed the end result to be the ultimate measure. It was all about what his players became as a result of the experience.
This may all sound rather idealistic or it could appear to be a simple life endeavor. But think about it - Be the best you can be in every situation.
Mr. Wooden’s father frequently reminded him: “Never try to be better than somebody else, but never cease trying to be the best you can be. You have control over that. Not the other.” What a wonderful life lesson.
Wooden heeded his father’s advice and considered this a fundamental quality of success. His clear and practical life wisdom established personal characteristics and behavior standards that inspired people to go beyond who and what they were. Here are some of my favorite pieces of wisdom I’ve accumulated over several years of following John Wooden’s career:
1. How to behave when things don’t go your way – “Don’t whine. Don’t complain. Don’t make excuses.”
2. A person’s character was paramount to Coach Wooden. He frequently reminded his players: “What you are as a person is far more important that what you are as a basketball player.” He added: “Talent may get you to the top, but it takes character to stay there.” And ultimately; “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
3. Be enthusiastic about your work. “Without enthusiasm, you cannot work up to your fullest ability and potential; you’re just going through the motions.” Going through the motions certainly won’t bring about too many winning experiences.
4. How about failure? “If you are afraid to fail, you will never do the things you are capable of doing. If you have thoroughly prepared and are ready to give it all you’ve got, there is no shame if you fail – nothing to fear in failure.”
5. “Perfection is impossible, but we must constantly strive for less imperfection.” He also had this to say about perfection: “Perfection is impossible. Capitalizing on imperfection – mistakes – makes all the difference.”
6. How about teamwork? “Do nothing that will bring discredit to the team.” That is powerful.
7. Personal behavior. Coach Wooden wrote a preseason letter to his team each year. Here is an excerpt from his 1966 letter. “Accept the fact that neatness, cleanliness, politeness, and good manners are qualities that you should acquire and cultivate just as much as the ability to properly execute the fundamental of the game of basketball.”
8. Approach to life. “The past is for reference; the future for dreamers; the present moment is where you create success.” I love that quote. Wooden was an adamant believer that we can influence the future by what we do today and that the past cannot change what is to come. Powerful stuff!
9. Coach had strong feelings about how we should treat other people. Here’s a gem: “Consider the rights of others before your own feelings, and the feelings of others before your own rights.”
10. Here’s what it was all about for Mr. Wooden. “Material possessions, winning scores, and great reputations are meaningless in the eyes of the Lord, because He knows what we really are and that is all that matters.” Amen!
“Be yourself – no posing or pretense; be comfortable in your own skin; avoid judging yourself in comparison to others; and hold fast to your principles and ideals.” - John Wooden
Sources: The Essential Wooden; http://www.coachwooden.com/; Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections; and Wooden on Leadership.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
A Barbie I'm Not!
A Barbie I’m Not!
“My only regret in life is that I’m not someone else.”
Woody Allen
I’ve Been Thinking. . . about who I would like to be if I wasn’t me. I didn’t come to any startling conclusions. I must admit there have been times in my life when I wished I was someone else. Then, I return to reality and go on with the life and person I’ve been given.
I smiled to myself as I read the physical description of the newest Barbie being produced. In an attempt to represent all those people with less than fantasy figures, the giant toy maker Mattel is introducing a more realistic Barbie. A softer hairstyle, smaller bust line, larger waist and smaller hips will be featured on this special edition.
I smiled even more when the Wall Street Journal decided to herald Barbie’s changes on its front page. Maybe it says something about the fascination we have with glamour, physical perfection, and the human body. We must, or why would a Barbie sell every two seconds. The average American girl owns eight, and more than 1 billion have been sold since her birth in 1959. Multitudes of people still marvel at this icon’s distinctive shape.
This was a decade ago and in 2009 Barbie celebrated her 50th birthday (of course you will never notice). She’s the epitome of youth, perfection and attractiveness. I’m sure Mattel will continue to ensure Barbie’s avid fans the same perfect doll will be on the shelves for years to come.
How about a ‘real world’ application? Instead of comparing ourselves to a perfect specimen, plastic or not, we should view ourselves in terms of our own abilities, special attributes and even our less than perfect characteristics. To admire and fantasize about perfection is an exhausting activity not even capable of producing microscopic change.
The magazine cover featured a picture of Michele Pfeiffer and the caption read, “What Michele Pfeiffer Needs Is...Absolutely Nothing!” Oh really?
It was later discovered that Michele Pfeiffer did need a little help to appear perfect on the magazine’s cover. She needed over $1500 worth of touch-up work on that cover photo. From the touch-up artist’s bill, here is a partial list of things that were done to make Michele Pfeiffer look beautiful:
Clean up complexion, soften eye lines, soften smile line, add color to lips, trim chin, remove neck lines, soften line under earlobe, add highlights to earrings, add blush to cheek, clean up neckline, remove stray hair, remove hair strands on dress, adjust color and add hair on top of head, add dress on side to create better line, add forehead, add dress on shoulder, soften neck muscle a bit, clean up and smooth dress folds under arm, and create one seam on image on right side.
That bit of nothing cost $1525.00. Even my photos could look decent with a fifteen hundred dollar touch up. (I said decent, not perfect.)
How easy it is to compare ourselves with the media stars, Barbie, or even Mary or Jim down the street who appear to be the perfect specimens of humankind. Consider this thought: each of us is perfect because we were created to look like we do. And yes, in the eyes of the world, some people are more blessed than others. It’s all a matter of perspective.
Self -acceptance makes it possible for you to feel comfortable with the reality that you project on the outside what you feel on the inside. Accepting who you are right now sets the stage for you to upgrade those areas needing a bit of attention. Without acceptance, self-pity and a defeatist attitude will permeate our lives and make personal development virtually impossible.
I’m all for growing, improving, and upgrading our lives. But, only from a realistic starting point of who we are, not what we wish we could be based on someone else’s specifications, or even our own unrealistic expectations.
Denis Waitley says, “It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you’re not.”
Think about it.
“Self-esteem can be compared to a stack of poker chips. Those with the most chips play aggressively. Less chips, less risks.”
Jack Canfield
“My only regret in life is that I’m not someone else.”
Woody Allen
I’ve Been Thinking. . . about who I would like to be if I wasn’t me. I didn’t come to any startling conclusions. I must admit there have been times in my life when I wished I was someone else. Then, I return to reality and go on with the life and person I’ve been given.
I smiled to myself as I read the physical description of the newest Barbie being produced. In an attempt to represent all those people with less than fantasy figures, the giant toy maker Mattel is introducing a more realistic Barbie. A softer hairstyle, smaller bust line, larger waist and smaller hips will be featured on this special edition.
I smiled even more when the Wall Street Journal decided to herald Barbie’s changes on its front page. Maybe it says something about the fascination we have with glamour, physical perfection, and the human body. We must, or why would a Barbie sell every two seconds. The average American girl owns eight, and more than 1 billion have been sold since her birth in 1959. Multitudes of people still marvel at this icon’s distinctive shape.
This was a decade ago and in 2009 Barbie celebrated her 50th birthday (of course you will never notice). She’s the epitome of youth, perfection and attractiveness. I’m sure Mattel will continue to ensure Barbie’s avid fans the same perfect doll will be on the shelves for years to come.
How about a ‘real world’ application? Instead of comparing ourselves to a perfect specimen, plastic or not, we should view ourselves in terms of our own abilities, special attributes and even our less than perfect characteristics. To admire and fantasize about perfection is an exhausting activity not even capable of producing microscopic change.
The magazine cover featured a picture of Michele Pfeiffer and the caption read, “What Michele Pfeiffer Needs Is...Absolutely Nothing!” Oh really?
It was later discovered that Michele Pfeiffer did need a little help to appear perfect on the magazine’s cover. She needed over $1500 worth of touch-up work on that cover photo. From the touch-up artist’s bill, here is a partial list of things that were done to make Michele Pfeiffer look beautiful:
Clean up complexion, soften eye lines, soften smile line, add color to lips, trim chin, remove neck lines, soften line under earlobe, add highlights to earrings, add blush to cheek, clean up neckline, remove stray hair, remove hair strands on dress, adjust color and add hair on top of head, add dress on side to create better line, add forehead, add dress on shoulder, soften neck muscle a bit, clean up and smooth dress folds under arm, and create one seam on image on right side.
That bit of nothing cost $1525.00. Even my photos could look decent with a fifteen hundred dollar touch up. (I said decent, not perfect.)
How easy it is to compare ourselves with the media stars, Barbie, or even Mary or Jim down the street who appear to be the perfect specimens of humankind. Consider this thought: each of us is perfect because we were created to look like we do. And yes, in the eyes of the world, some people are more blessed than others. It’s all a matter of perspective.
Self -acceptance makes it possible for you to feel comfortable with the reality that you project on the outside what you feel on the inside. Accepting who you are right now sets the stage for you to upgrade those areas needing a bit of attention. Without acceptance, self-pity and a defeatist attitude will permeate our lives and make personal development virtually impossible.
I’m all for growing, improving, and upgrading our lives. But, only from a realistic starting point of who we are, not what we wish we could be based on someone else’s specifications, or even our own unrealistic expectations.
Denis Waitley says, “It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you’re not.”
Think about it.
“Self-esteem can be compared to a stack of poker chips. Those with the most chips play aggressively. Less chips, less risks.”
Jack Canfield
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