USA Today
I’ve Been Thinking . . . a lot about relationships recently -- seems to be a common label on my mental file folders.
Several years ago, a Harvard business school professor wrote an open letter to the nation’s graduates. He told them that in one sense they needed to forget what they had learned in their academic training. He indicated that schools tend to put too much emphasis on the belief that success is dependent on passing tests and is based on individual performance rather than on ground effort and collaboration, the professor pointed out that in the workplace high performance depends largely on learning to succeed through what he called a “Web of Relationships”.
The secret to personal success extends far beyond individual accomplishments to the inevitable need for interdependence with those around us. “It’s All About Relationships!” I frequently use that phrase in meetings, one-to-one conversations, social situations and yes, even airplanes. The older I get the stronger my bias that life enrichment, and job success are tied directly to relationship development. Brian Tracy believes, “85% of our job, happiness in life comes from our interaction with others.”
Who are Picker-Upper People? They possess a number of enviable qualities. Consider the following characteristics that positively impact people’s lives. Maybe there is one or two you could work on refining in your life.
* Accept people unconditionally. Accept people for who they are; not what they could be if only they listened to you.
* Seek to understand life from the other person’s perspective. Get inside their world.
* Listen with sincerity and an open mind. Learn from others. Show genuine interest in other people’s lives. Talk less. Leave your ego at the door.
* Respect what is important or valued by others. Respect other’s opinions.
* Be enjoyable to be around. Kind. Gracious. Polite. Tactful. Don’t get uptight by little things that bother you. Make it possible for people to say, “I like myself better when I’m with you.”
* Refrain from criticism. Overlook people’s faults. Overlook minor or petty differences.
* Cherish conflict – momentarily. Quickly and sincerely attempt to resolve any conflict. Learn from the experience.
* Freely provide recognition and appreciation. Encourage and support people. Go to great lengths to make people feel appreciated.
* Get excited about other people’s success. Congratulate them. Share in their exuberance. Be their best cheerleader and promoter.
Here’s a relationship jump start. For the next ‘30’ days, treat everyone you come in contact with as the most important person in your life. Place every greeting, phone call, interaction and goodbye with a heightened level of respect.
Everyone you encounter wants to be important to someone, to be loved, respected and considered special. It could very well be you were placed in their life at this moment in time to add value and significance. What a great opportunity!
There is a side benefit to this approach. People who make treating others as the most important people in their life often find that others begin treating them the same way. It’s funny how life tends to give us back what we give. One thing is for sure, those you touch will not remain as they are – and I doubt you will either.
“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.”
George Washington Carver
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