Conquer Chronic Complaining

“Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.”

Og Mandino

I’ve Been Thinking. . . about an energy-sucking, productivity squelching, useless epidemic.

I’m sure my conclusion isn’t scientifically defendable but my informal research has revealed that complaining is rapidly becoming one of American’s favorite past times.  The subtle, yet profound results of this habitual behavior are not pretty.

In the Australian Bush Country there is a little plant called the “Sundew.”  It has a slender stem and tiny round leaves fringed with hairs that glisten with bright drops of liquid.  The Sundew has attractive clusters of harmless, inviting red, white and pink blossoms.

Beware; the leaves are deceivingly deadly!  The shiny moisture on each leaf is sticky and will imprison any bug or insect that touches it.  As the insect struggles to get free, the vibration causes the leaves to close tightly around it.  This innocent-looking plant then feeds on its victim.

The leaves of negativity, moaning, groaning, complaining, ‘awful’izing, self-pity parties, and ‘must’erizing  appear harmless.  But they are deadly traps waiting to snuff the life from of their victims.

I don’t know why it is so inviting, but indulging in this fast growing hobby is often justified as merely pointing out “life’s reality or the current state of the world.” 

Really?  Seriously?   Chronic Complainers are toxic!  Moaning and murmuring can rapidly consume the energy, creativity, fun and productivity out of any group.

Whining, the expression of disappointment, dissatisfaction, and disagreement, offers no hope of contentment yet the continual expression of misery has a mysterious appeal.  Chronic complainers generally complain about the same things to the same people in the same way in the same tone day after day after day.

Health and wealth (normally the lack of it), bosses and spouses, politicians and situations, sleep deprivation and people frustration; are all objects of our complaints.  Actually, we complain about everything that doesn’t meet our definition of the way things should be.

Heaven forbid anyone offer advice, ideas or solutions to our topic of complaint.  When people agree or support our position, there is an irresistible feeling of satisfaction that someone is willing to acknowledge our pain and discontent.  Yet, that is often the encouragement we need to complain to someone else and hope they embrace our tribulation.

I may not appear empathetic with the popularity of venting.  You’re right.  I’ve become allergic to the appeal of bemoaning our circumstances while they are ripe for our energetic intervention.

Are there problems, injustices, irritations, and unfairness?  Absolutely!  So, what do we do about them?  Assume responsibility for those things we can control, stop blaming others or feeling sorry for ourselves when things don’t go as we wish and move on. . .

I know life is supposed to happen exactly the way we want it to; perfectly aligned with our expectations.  Everything should happen the way we want it to or think it should.  Good luck with that expectation.  People are imperfect.  Life is erratic.  Stuff happens!

Ironically, those who complain the most produce the most to complain about.  Complaining is like a self-fulfilling prophecy.    I guarantee you the more you grumble, the more you will have to grumble about.  You get what you focus on.  It’s a natural law of life that the more I dwell on the negative, the more negative I attract to me.

So. . . if you are intent on producing more to grumble about, master the art of complaining.  However, before you intentionally start down that path, reconsider!  Complaining is addictive.  You may soon see everything through ‘ain’t that awful’ lenses.  It is practically an irreversible addiction to shed.

Here’s another serious consideration.  Complainers attract complainers.  If you want to spend your life with negative, energy sucking, unhappy people. . . well, you know what to do.  Join the complainer clique who thrives on being suspicious, critical and fault-finding of everyone and everything around them. 

The perfect antidote to complaining is to adjust your view of reality.  Realize and accept the fact that problems, pet peeves and irritations will always exist.  So, what’s the answer?

Suggestion one.  Avoid being a problem-finder.  Become intent on being a problem-solver.  Complaining is an exhaustible waste of energy.  Looking for solutions to issues generates creativity, energy and passion – a pretty powerful combination.

Suggestion two.  Limit the time you spend with chronic complainers.  Most of them aren’t interested in your cheery, spirited, proactive disposition.  Carefully decide the type of people with whom you want to invest your time.

Suggestion three.  Nurture your appreciative, grateful and optimistic nature.  Find the good in life and people.  Make positivity a habit.

These three relatively straightforward lifestyle adjustments can help you conquer chronic complaining.

 “If you took one-tenth the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving the problem, you'd be surprised by how well things can work out... Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have finite time and energy. Any time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve our goals. And it won't make us happier.”

Randy Pausch

The Last Lecture